One Month

I had a conversation last night with a good friend. We covered the standards of what am I doing now, what's my big plan, where am I looking for jobs or am I setting up on my own...

Now as a society we are fast. We are all about the speed and the now. We want a quick fix immediately, no patience required. We want fast food, fast gratitude and fast fashion. In my opinion, this has lead us to get all of our timings in a muddle. Now don't get me wrong, I am prone to want a takeaway, but I also love putting the effort into preparing a homemade meal, and as much as I nip into Primark for tights like the next person, I actually now invest in pieces, and shop predominantly from vintage and charity shops. I like to think that I have my 'speed balance' in perspective for the best part. 

The thing with wanting super fast speed means that we all get impatient and want the next thing immediately. I have been feeling lately that, what am I doing? Seriously it has been foooorrreveerrr since the whole Vanity Fair gig. This must now mean that I am massively under-succeeding.

One month ago. This was one month ago. In fact it was featured in the September Issue, and what month are we still currently in? September. 

The end of this month marks a year since I started my six month contract working for Cancer Research. This means I have been out of 'normal' work for nearly six months. That is no time at all. In six months I have made wedding gowns, prom dresses, lingerie sets, written for online mags, completed a full collection and had it shot, made two corset gowns to take for my meeting (one which is still top secret), dressed HBC, had a full page photograph in Vanity Fair and had my work shot by Mario Testino, carried out a radio interview, multiple press interviews, been to Norway and dressed the Editor-and-Chief of their big fashion mag 'Costume' and I am now working on a special extension to my Wild Roses Collection...

This is not a brag. This is me telling you that you are doing better than you think. So give yourself a pat on the back please. Time goes by quickly, but not as quickly as you think. Be patient and celebrate all of those successes. And maybe invest some time into the things you care about, life isn't all about the fast.

So to let you all know what I am doing right now I am eating a banana and drinking diet coke. But in seriousness, I am currently working on extending my Wild Rose collection into plus size. I met a lady this summer who just inspired me beyond belief and I thought to myself, I need to dress you. This lady was Evie Wolfe. I can also reveal that I will be dressing one of my personal 'online idols' George from Fuller Figure Fuller Bust. But more of that at a later date...❤

 

 Models: Evie Wolfe Modeling and Georgina Horne (FFFB)
Photo by: My Boudoir - Make-Over Boudoir Photography
H&MU: Sarah Elliott - Hair & Makeup Artist
Appearing in: Volup2.com 

Creativity in a suitcase

So I guess I always had a bit of a fear. The fear that I could only be creative in one place: the kitchen of my childhood home.

As a child I was always super creative, which thanks to my parents seemed encouraging of this. The philosophy that a kitchen was to be a messy place so long as it was tided away after was the best. It showed me that creativity wasn't necessarily a fragile or organised thing. Sometimes *POW* the creativity strikes, and normally a trail of chaos forms in it's path. That's one of my favourite side-effects.

So it started with finger painting, and potato stamping and then I drew a seal on the wall once which I hadn't twigged was out of bounds. I soon learnt that drawing on the walls wasn't what we do. But it was a very good seal. I progressed to dressmaking and 'costume' making before I had learnt all of my times tables, and it seemed like the kitchen was the place where everything and anything could happen. 

As a teenager I did my college work in the very same kitchen, and as the portfolios grew bigger and the projects advanced it seemed like this was the place for me. I had access to a computer, the radio, a table, a set of drawers full of art materials and my sewing machine was constantly set up. Everything I could possibly need was around me. Then I applied for university.

There was no way I was going to be living at home. After turning down an interview at Wimbledon partly on the basis that the student life of Birmingham had stolen my heart already, a bizarre thought crossed my mind. Could I be creative outside the kitchen? What if I went off to university and I was rubbish? My whole surroundings would be totally different, I wouldn't have the access to everything I would need and maybe my creativity would just frazzle out.

But it didn't. I soon realised that my creativity wasn't linked to an environment or a place, but that creativity is just an integral part of my being. Drop me on an island in the middle of nowhere and I can guarantee finding some way of stitching leaves together so I can sport a fetching bikini with matching headdress. My creativity is like a little internal suitcase I carry around with me, and sometimes I need to remind myself of this. It is still a concept that occasionally freaks me out, maybe my version of performance anxiety?

Sometimes we convince ourselves of silly wonderments as a way to prevent us from taking risks, and we could all do with the occasional helpful nudge from time to time.

Those who dare, win. Right?... ❤

 

Rocking my Little Mermaid Costume

'Great things never came from comfort zones'

I think that we are all faced with uncomfortable situations every day. I'm just using the term uncomfortable to describe anything a bit out of our ordinary 'norm' or something that makes us feel nervous or unsure.
I have just had the great pleasure of dressing the absolutely gorgeous Hege Aurelie Badendyck, Editor-in-Chief of Costume Magazine, Norway's leading fashion mag. The shoot was a collaborative piece for a new exciting company Prefall that will be launched soon. As part of the Prefall website (an online platform to sell vintage and pre-worn clothing and accessories) there is going to be a feature editorial style piece on Hege, and my clothing was seen and chosen to be worn as part of the shoot. But this was an opportunity to really push myself out of my comfort zone.

I went absolutely voluntarily, I could've easily declined, couriered my garments out there with a covering letter of 'how to wear'. I made the conscious decision that this was an opportunity I had to make the most  of. Although it was 'work' related, I actually haven't had a holiday for what feels like forever, so it made sense that I should take this as an opportunity to do some sightseeing and have a break away. It also meant I had the opportunity to spend some proper time with my gorgeous Norwegian cousin. Our family has always been a bit all over the world, so this was such a lovely opportunity. She is the ultimate cooler older cousin, and from the rapper boyfriend she had as a teen (as a child I was convinced he was Norway's version of Eminem) to the fact her wedding cake topper was Hello Kitty and a Ninja turtle, I knew it would be such a great time to get to know someone better that I has always looked up to so much.

So these were my uncomfortable things:

1.  I have never flown on my own
Doing new things can be frightening. Not only had I not flown for over 5 years, I had never flown alone. What if I couldn't get through airport security? What if I lost my passport, my permission to carry sharps and was arrested and and and. Nope. Instead I enjoyed people watching, buying duty free gin and catching up on some reading. Being on my own was surprisingly peaceful. It also made me realise that I don't need to be dependent on someone. Lightbulb moment.

2. Going to a country where I speak none of the language
So people do this all the time, but I think I am one of these people who like to be in control. Not knowing the language of a country can instantly make you feel vulnerable. What are these people saying? How will I communicate? Well it's not surprising that as with most European countries, English is taught in schools so is also pretty widely spoken. Reading signs was often quite alright as the occasional word has similarities, but some of the pronunciation of the words did baffle me. I did however have a great sense of pride when I managed to have a day solo-sightseeing that involved working out the tube system.

3. Getting lost
I am not one of these people that have a built in compass. In fact I am pretty guaranteed to get lost anywhere. I like to think when I am travelling with someone that they are the directions person and I am the company. Not entirely fair is it? It did however make me realise that I am actually rather observant and good at following signs. I got around no problem.

4. Shoot day
Any shoot can be pretty nerve-racking, but normally in the most exciting way possible. In fairness, this was no different. When the day began I felt nervous, which isn't a feeling I get too often and I think I put it down to the fact that everyone was obviously chatting away in a language I had no grasp of. As the day went on though it was clear that everything was going brilliantly, and speaking to the whole team was brilliant and insightful. I think Having Helena Bonham Carter on your business cards is a pretty good talking point as well. There will certainly be more news to follow...

I can whole heartily say that I have had a brilliant weekend. On this year's 'list' I wrote that I want to travel, among with many other goals. Another pretty big one was to push my comfort zone even further. Networking in person is such a valuable tool, and I cannot wait to receive the images. On a personal level I came back feeling indestructible, this really is just the beginning...

Last week I received a couple of really exciting emails, but less on that for the meantime. Although I can say that I have just agreed to be a 'Spotlight Speaker' at event later this year. 

Speaking in front of over a hundred people. Comfort zone: well and truly shattered. Lemme at it! ❤

 Top: Innovative styling
Middle: Polaroid of me, courtesy of Prefall
Bottom: Collaborative work

The meaning of words

I really like words. Aside from textiles and drama (I managed to sign up for a costume design module) at school, English Literature was my absolute favourite. I think the big appeal was that you were able to explore the way language can be used to different effect. It seemed so creative and open-ended that you could actually paint a picture with words. When I am designing I often start with a piece of creative writing to get my ideas down. Words give us such feeling and emotion.

My love for words certainly helped with my university studies, as costume design often directly relates to translating written text into something 3D and touchable. I think we learn heaps from reading, and definitely from reading varied sources. So maybe put down your fashion mag and pick up a classic like 1984, or put down the theology papers and pick up Bridget Jones. You are guaranteed to learn something.

This post is actually about certain words I have had used to describe me and my character. Words that seemed so 'un-cool' and undesirable whilst at school, and words that I have only just started to appreciate.

1. Kind
Being called 'kind' in the school yearbook was a way of saying that you hadn't done anything memorable to have something else written about you. It was the word teachers used to fill in a blank gap. Maybe they chose the word 'kind' though, because as adults they valued and already understood the importance of kindess. Now my yearbook is hidden somewhere under the bed, but I have a feeling (along with the terrible haircut) I was described as something like 'kooky, fuzzy, motherly'. As I look back now, I would much have preferred to have been called kind. When I left the last place I worked, I was asked to give a piece of life advice, I said something along the lines of 'always be kind, you have no idea what that other person is coping with right now, and you might be able to add a little spot of sunshine for them'. I understand 'kind' so much more now than I did as a teenager, and I can safely say that everyone should strive for being able to be called kind.

2. Sensible
I wanted to be wild and fun and outrageous. Being called sensible did my head in! How could these people not see how brilliantly ridiculous I was? I think the turning point was when my best friend called me sensible, and then explained what she meant. It didn't have any effect on my fun capacity, but it did mean that I was the kind of person to have my head screwed on enough that I wouldn't forget my keys to creep back in after a late night so as not to disturb everyone. It also means that on a night out I always have a £20 stashed in my bra, so if I want to leave at any point in the night, I can do just that and wont have spent all my money and have to rely on others. It's a great life tip, I advise it highly. Being sensible is something I had to learn when I was pretty young, but it's done me well. Also, being sensible has zero impact on how 'fun' you are.

3. Mature
'Oh you're so grown up for your age'. Great. Just bloomin' great. So I can't hide the fact that I am tall-ish, and don't really have any young girly features about me, but you don't need to make the snap decision that I'm mature. This one kind of ties in with being sensible. I still sometimes struggle with the fact that people call me mature, but they're right. I multitask lots every day, as many people do, but this has made me grow up a certain amount at a quicker pace. Being mature also means that I am able to switch between different personas when need be, dependent on who I'm speaking to. Maturity ties in pretty nicely with independence.

So I now strive to be the kindest I can possibly be, whilst being sensible with a splash of maturity. But, another word I picked up along the way is 'authentic'. And it's my fave. When you find those people you can be your Authentic Self with, you don't need to justify your quirks.

Authenticity is being your genuine original self, without apologies. Embrace it as a person, and it will follow you through to your design work and everyday life❤

The Great Escape

This is what I am planning right now. My great escape, and my next step. I think this is my most frequently asked question at the moment 'what's your next step? Where do you go now?' Well, it's a good question and I have my answers ready to whip out when need be.

Having just had my collection shot by the fabulous InaGlo Photography, I am now waiting for the high res images to get turned into a look book ready to send out to everybody. 'Everybody' covers all of the people I want to dress and want to work for. In the meantime I have super updated my CV, am taking on freelance commissions and working on all of the 'background stuff', and there's talk of a possible exhibition... The website still needs work, and I am trying to give this social media thing all of my gusto.

Amongst all the funny things printed in the Daily Mail, the best possibly has to be how I am 'living at home to stay grounded'. Ha. This is not the case. I would describe myself as a pretty grounded human, but I'm also someone who gets extremely excited and carried away with things. And moving out is a high priority right now. I think I have an addictive personality trait, this drives me forward with impatience to keep working on something on and on and over and over. It's also the reason I have never tried smoking. I am living at home, the same way many of my peers currently are, because living away from home is just too expensive on the minimum wage jobs we have all been able to get.

No don't get me wrong, as well as being 'grounded' and excitable, a personality trait I pride myself on is being grateful. I am so grateful I had a home and family to move back to when I finished university, and I know that I will always have a roof over my head and not go hungry. But right now, all I want is out. There are so many adventures waiting.

I was in London yesterday, I seem to often find myself there, and picked up a Metro. In the back of Metro, is a 'what's on' section. Perfect I thought, I'm going to get my cold calling face on and call all of these theatres. After about the 6th phone call I realised I was just heading to the box office each time, to the same poor woman. I find it hard to get embarrassed, but this was borderline for me.

So why am I sharing these 'struggles' publicly? Because I sincerely hope that it will give someone else the boost they need to keep at it, and to keep cracking on. Often the things worth having never come easily. 

The Daily Mail has also said that I am on the brink of international stardom. I am (I hope). I just don't know how long it will take to reach that tipping point... ❤